Is Clive up in arms?

Posted: June 17, 2014 in Ranting
Tags: ,

Alrighty then – it’s Rant time yet again. And I promised myself I wouldn’t be ranting about Clive Palmer again quite so soon. I mean, there’s plenty more I could rant about such as HRH Prime Minister Tony Abbott blowing off meetings in the US with mere minions like the IMF, in order to dash off up to Canadia Canada in order to form an anti-climate change action faction with the Canadian Prime Minister. Or the Australian Womens’ Hockey Team’s gusty effort in being runners-up against the all-powerful Dutch team in the World Championship. Or the new figures revealing the cost of labour in Australia is falling, despite what the likes of the bloated Fat Cat Gina Reinhardt claims. Or even the inconvenient pimple on my left bum cheek. But I’m afraid Gina’s mate Clive tips the scale in his favour once more.

It is hardly a secret that the Murdoch bloc of newspapers in Australia (which is most of them) are pro-HRH Abbott and anti-everyone else. So perhaps that is why today’s Canberra Times, part of the opposing Fairfax stable, featured a ‘column’ by Clive Palmer under the heading “Senate guard ready to serve and protect.” And it was the usual bluster but surprisingly free of the sublimely ridiculous. But then again, perhaps by now Clive has run out of truly stupid things to broadcast. I mean, there was the dire announcement that the Australian Greens were funded by the CIA to undermine the Australian coal industry ie his business interests. Or that Rupert Murdoch’s wife was actually a Chinese spy (presumably using the resources of News Corp to put more Chinese Reds under our beds). Or during the re-run of part of the last federal election in Western Australia where, having previously announced that he ie his party which is the same thing as him anyway, were in favour of the Renewable Energy Targets, only to then clarify during his WA media blitz that it was actually the natural emissions that we needed to control (certainly not all the inconvenient coal emissions from the burning of his coal that he has sold for billions). Exactly what he meant by that wasn’t clear. Perhaps it was all those pesky cattle burping and farting that we need to control? Maybe by shoving inflatable bags at front and rear ends. In fact that could make a whole new green industry: Bovigas – only belched by the best Aussie cattle!

Anyway, as I was saying, there wasn’t much unexpected in the article. Until you got to the half-way point. And that was where Clive decided to draw on the tired over- and mis-use of ‘Anzac spirit’.

We can follow the example of the Anzacs and serve our nation and make our sunburnt country one we can all be proud of. Under the Southern Cross we want all Australians to be free and independent.

Clive Palmer (Photo: Nick Moir)

Clive Palmer (Photo: Nick Moir)

Who plagiarised wrote that drivel? An enthusiastic fifteen-year old? And by the way, Clive, ANZAC actually means Australian and New Zealand Army Corp. Perhaps you might spare a thought for the Kiwi component who were there at Gallipoli? And yes, Clive, our World War 1 diggers would be just so proud of you – proud to see you turning up to Parliament in your chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce; proud to have an MP who is leader of his own party yet rarely bothers to even turn up to take his seat in the House with the numbers showing you to have the worst voting record of any MP since Federation; so proud of a man who has made billions from the natural wealth in Australian soil only to throw it around to buy himself political power; ever so proud of a man who, shortly after he becomes a federal MP suddenly has a massive new coal mine development approved along with taxpayer-funded coal port expansion and the environmental vandalism of dumping the mess onto the Great Barrier Reef; they’d be gleefully proud of the way your business interests took the Queensland government to court only to then kindly offer to let it all drop provided they give your business concerns even more benefits and kickbacks. Of course the man is generous in one respect – he openly disdains his salary as an MP, declaring he already has enough money (in which case why are you bothering with yet more massive coal developments?) and supposedly donating that to charity. But I have not been able to find out where it has been donated to. Repeated attempts to find out via his party’s office have failed to even elicit any form of response. Why the secrecy, Clive? After all, It’s hardly an anonymous donation, is it?

I am prepared to bet money that I have read a hell of a lot more of the writings of our WW1 diggers than Clive has. And I am equally sure that many of those men who showed their disrespect for authority and fat cats wouldn’t have been proud of an Australia with Clive Palmer-esque Fat Cats calling the shots.

Just to round the article off was a graphic with Clive’s head plastered onto a caricature of an Australian soldier cira World War 1, standing in front of a symbolic door superimposed over the Australian map. Oh puh-lease.

Frankly, Australia is in a mess if the alternative to the obscenity that is the Abbott government could be Fat Cat Palmer. And now I’m off to start tying garbage bags to some cow bums.

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