Introducing Mr Fuppet

Posted: August 21, 2019 in Ranting

Isn’t language a weird thing. I mean, look at muppets. First, they were the creation of puppeteer Jim Henson, getting his big break in supplying them to Sesame Street and bringing joy to untold millions. Now the word ‘Muppet’ is associated with insults.

The words and associations with the Muppets have changed over time. Oscar the Grouch, living in his rubbish bin, is now supposedly called something Oscar the Mildly Upset. The Cookie Monster has not binged on biscuits for years now as that was apparently such an awful example to set young children. And yep, all the kids at my primary school started cramming food into their mouths, shouting ‘cookie’ with bits of food flying everywhere except down their throat. Not.

I don’t know exactly when ‘Muppet’ became an insult, but it has now really been hiked up in the insult stakes.

Last year it effectively became illegal to call PM SloMo a ‘fucking muppet.’ And that was because some bloke at the 2018 Bathurst 1000, called Prime Minister Morrison a ‘fucking muppet.’ The coppers moved in and the court ultimately fined him $500 for calling SloMo a fucking muppet. But surely only a fucking muppet would be upset at being called a fucking muppet?

Now that is five fucking muppets from me – make that six – so I’m up for three grand. I might have to get a better job. All because of a fucking muppet. Whoops – seven.

It is not just things like muppets becoming so different or unusual.

Let us look at assault. Remember when the kid hit Fraser Anning in the head with an egg? Well that was assault because he actually hit Anning with the cackleberry. And after being jumped on by Anning’s fascist mates, Egg Boy was charged with assault.

Not entirely unsurprising, Egg Boy inspired other people. Some performers at the Canberra Comedy Festival were quick to add Egging Anning to their acts. And there was the attempted egging of SloMo the MoFo.

An intelligent young woman decided it would be a great idea to egg the PM. And such an intelligent person planning that great escapade at a public place surrounded by police and security personnel, decided it would also be a good idea to be carrying weed.

Now is where things get interesting. Said intelligent young woman actually missed the MoFo from pretty much point-blank range. Perhaps she had hit a couple of cones from that stash in her pocket before launching her cackleberry attack? Now I repeat – she missed. Yet she was still charged with common assault, not attempted assault but actual assault. For what? For not hitting SloMo the MoFo with said chook-bum-berry? So now it is illegal to NOT hit the fucking muppet with produce? Damn – that makes four grand now.

At this rate I am going to have to get a real job to pay for all those fines, all because of that fucking muppet. Sigh. Nine.

How about from now on we just call him Mr Fuppet for short?

SloMo the MoFo, Mr Fuppet (pic credit Dominic Lorrimer)

Ladies and genitals. I give you the Australian Prime Minister, SloMo the MoFo, Mr Fuppet!

Ross doesn’t bite – a lot – so if you like this piece, feel free to share it and follow Ross’s Rant. But please – don’t use this without contacting me first.

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