MoFo the Magnifique

Posted: August 21, 2019 in Ranting
Tags: , , , ,

Welcome to Australia, the land so magical that we can’t even be sure that we exist. There was even a claim in the USA that we don’t exist and that any ‘Australians’ were just actors being paid to pretend we come from that mythical land.

SloMo the MoFo, Mr Fuppet (pic credit Dominic Lorrimer)

What a wonderful setting this is to be the home of Morrison the Magnifique.

Who else but El Magnifico could make entire things disappear with a dash of the pen or a quick press announcement?

‘It no longer exists because I said it does not.’

‘Yes, Your Magnificence.’

There is a little problem with magicians. When they make something ‘disappear’ it has not actually gone as such. Instead it has been moved elsewhere with sleight of hand or being hidden by something else. The item still exists.

It is exactly that sort of ‘magic’ that is being applied to Australia meeting its climate change emissions.

Emissions per capita have decreased therefore we have decreased emissions.

Huh? All that means is that our population is growing faster than our level of carbon emissions. While that may mean we have reduced the growth of carbon emissions, that doesn’t mean that they have overall decreased. To the contrary, they have continued to increase. The government’s own data has amply demonstrated that.

Emissions have decreased as a percentage of Gross Domestic Product (GDP).

WTF? What are we even bothering to measure carbon emissions against GDP? We may as well start analysing Steve Smith’s batting average in terms of movement in CPI.

Those are just silly plays on words intended to give the impression something meaningful has been done about carbon emissions when in reality, Sweet Fanny Adams has been done.

Fortunately for Le Magnifique, he has a bit more ammo in his bag.

The Paris Agreement that Tony Abbott most reluctantly signed us up to, was actually just a follow-on from the Kyoto Protocol which was agreed to and signed off on back in 1997. And that Protocol used a UN Framework to give some substance to actions. And in return for taking positive actions such as planting shitloads of trees to store carbon in, a nation could get credits towards other things that are not doing so well in carbon terms. That way there was allegedly an incentive for nations to take meaningful action alongside other economically productive things that may not be so emissions-friendly.

Mr Fuppet, SloMo the Mofo, has decided that the time has come to use up any and all credits Australia has previously generated. But not in support of some sort of other development. Oh no. The Fuppet has decided to use those credits to mask continuing growth in carbon emissions but declare we are meeting all our obligations on this front.

This is like Mr Fuppet walking into a room, standing behind a sofa so only his upper body is visible and then declaring this meant his legs had ceased to exist, that they have gone. Of course, his legs would still be there, just as our increasing carbon emissions are not just still there, but still increasing, despite Mr Fuppet’s attempts to pretend otherwise.

So why is SloMo the MoFo, Mr Fuppet, resorting to such a charlatan stunt?

Politics, mi amigo, just politics.

Do not forget that the MoFo was originally part of the Abbott-faction of the Liberals. And one of that lot’s headline bits was what a farce climate change is. Presumably SloMo left Abbott’s lot because it was politically more advantageous to hook up with Malcolm Turnbull. But judging by his stunt with bringing the lump of coal into the House to wave around while singing coal’s praises, it seems his attitudes were still at home with the Abbott conservatives nutjobs.

While Abbott is now gone, meaning his nutjob faction have lost their main head-kicker, they still have a surprisingly strong voice in the Coalition ranks. MoFo even rescued one of them, Craig Kelly, by ensuring he was given preselection for his seat, over the objections of Kelly’s branch. So, it is not unreasonable to be feeling that SloMo the MoFo still has something of his heart over with the nutjob faction.

So, we have a PM who came from the hard right nutjob Liberal faction and seems to still have such affection for coal. Is anyone really that surprised he resorted to trying to hide the reality of our not meeting carbon emissions targets? Because we are nowhere near meeting them. And Mr Fuppet really doesn’t give a shit. So, he just uses word play to pretend those carbon emissions have disappeared along with his legs behind the sofa.

Some People Think Australia Doesn’t Exist — Here’s Why

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